No one could have predicted what was going to happen today. You couldn't have scripted it.
Last night was fairly uneventful. We watched the neighbours, Dave and Joanne's daugther play hockey game and it was a record crowd for a girls hockey game in at here college. Her brother Jim came as well.
It was a great environment. The crowd was lively, there was a college band and the quality of hockey was excellent.
Besides just watching the game, watching the college kids in front of us was just as much fun as the game. It was so cool to watch them enjoy college life on a Friday night. I never went to college and it just seems like such a memorable part of their life. They don't even know what they don't know and are just living in the moment.
The team was undefeated this year and played against one of their main rivals. It was a two game series, one on Friday night the other this afternoon.
We got back to the hotel on Friday night after the game, it was a tie 2 - 2. Alice and I didn't have a car so we walked in the cold, cold weather to a gas station down the road to pick up beer and soft drink mix. It was so cold, my ears were frozen by the time we got back. I felt like a kid in Winnipeg again walking to school. It had to be at least - 17 C.
I was still feeling lousy from Thursday. The 5 cigars did me in and we didn't drink too much Friday night. It was early to bed and I wanted to wake up early and do my long run before the game. Which I did.
I must say this town has the worst roads I've ever run on. I tried to run on the sidewalks and it was tough. First off they weren't cleared very well and I was running on packed snow most of the time. Then for no reason the side walks would stop in the middle of no where and I'd have to turn back and do a lot of zig zagging routes just to put the time in.
When I got back to the hotel it was 11 am and I could tell Alice already had a buzz on. She had one of my beers and I decided to help join her. The neighbours were picking us up at noon and I finished off about 64 oz of Coors Light before they come. Both Alice and I had a buzz on.
We then went for a Mexican lunch at Chipolies and had a couple more beers. Alice almost wasn't allowed to get one, they asked for ID and her pursue was in the car. I knew she already had a nice buzz on when she showed her rings and said, do you think some one under 21 years old is going to be wearing rings like this.
After lunch the neighbours went shopping for 30 minutes and we walked across the parking lot to a bar and had some more drinkings waiting for them.
By the time we got to the game, we were feeling no pain. Then the rum came out. I snuck it into the game. Last night I didn't recall seeing any security, this game security was everywhere. When we walked in they were checking bags and pursues for alcohol. They don't serve booze at the game.
I had the rum bottle stuffed in my jacket and made it in no problem. My first stop was to get diet coke to mix the rum into. I was with Jim, the son. He's Alyssa's age. The snack bar was closed and I knocked on the door and sweet talked them into opening early and selling me soft drinks. Then I asked for empty cups and lids. It was VERY apparent what I needed them for.
Next stop was the men's bathroom where I needed to pour the rum from the bottle into the cups and mix. I walked in and I was looking around to where I could do it. Did I go into the washroom stall with Jim, which would like like a couple of homo's having fun or was there another option.
Then brilliance struck. I saw the baby change table on the wall. Viola, I had it pulled down and put the rum on it with the cups. It looked like I had a make shift bar going. There was one college kid in the bathroom and I yelled across the room to him and said, "Hey you, watch the door!!!!".
He looked at me terrified. I said, "Watch the door, you're in college, that's what you're supposed to do". I said it jokingly. Next think I know he's watching the door from the inside. I was expecting him to look from the outside and run in if there was a problem. He'd never watched a door before.
Another kids had just come in and said "I'll do it" all enthusiastically. I had two of them watching the door as I was rushing to mix everything and I did it too fast and did a terrible job. One cola glass was all rum and a splash of Coke. As I was finishing up, the door opened and in walked a blind guy with a white cane. It was surreal.
We finished and got back to the seats. I felt like momma bear and had food for the cubs. Everyone started drinking. The drinks were so strong I had to get more mix and was re-mixing in the stands like a scientist would with beakers. I was pouring all into one glass and then into the other. They were strong drinks.
It worked perfectly. The security asked what was in our cups and we said nothing. Jum told him we brought them in for recycling purposes. Our first stop was too the bath room to pour the whiskey into the empty glasses.
This time we went into the handicap washroom. Little did I know, but as we were pouring the crown royal from the bottle to the glass, a security guard walked in to go to washroom and was at the urinal. Jim and I were playing it quiet. Eventually he left and we had mission accomplished and were back in the stands sharing our spoils with the rest of them.
By the end of the second period all the Whiskey was gone and so was everyone else. Apparently we were VERY loud and everyone around us knew we were drunk. Jim even went and got his face painted to look like a Tiger. The team is called the Tigers and he came back with his nose painted and whiskers.
It was a great game and ended after overtime scoreless at 0-0. This is where the night took an unexpected turn.
As we were waiting for Jennifer to get unchanged, Alice's blood sugar fell so low she went near unconscious. I was talking to the band leader, getting my picture with him. He was wearing a cool mobster style hat. Next thing I know Alice is near passed out.
Normally I'd just think she was drunk, but I now know better. I scrambled and a women passed me a granola bar. I was trying to force feed it into Alice. She was like a rag doll. I was even moving her cheeks with my hands trying to force her to eat it.
By this point I was surrounded by at least 3 security people. They thought she was drunk, I told her she's a diabetic and just needs sugar. They were concerned and wanted to call an ambulance. I was resisting for two reasons. I know it's not a big deal once I get her sugar up and I didn't want to lose my buzz on. The plan was to get back to our house and drain the kegerator.
I couldn't get her back fast enough and I was pleading with her to eat and telling her to snap out of it. That if she didn't she might be going to the hospital. It wasn't working and the security personnel were starting to get aggressive, insisting they are calling an ambulance.
I kept saying I'm her husband, I know what to do and to back off. They said we are on school property and they have authority. I then made an executive decision and told Dave to grab one arm and we tried to carry her to the van and we can then take off and I'll get her blood sugar back.
She was a rag dog, we were literally dragging her. Her toes were dragging. It was going to slow. I then decided to throw her over my shoulder and run with her like we were in the war and I was running to get her into the chopper.
As I was running I had the security and other spectators walking beside me. I was carrying her with a slight jog and talking like nothing was wrong. "Oh, this is no big deal, it happens all the time". One the way to the van, which was about 100 meters away, I felt to my knees twice. Alice was so god damn heavy.
In fact, I think I hurt my knee. I had to take a knee twice and when I stood up it was like a full press squat. Later Alice said she's only 126 lbs and I figured no way, she felt like 150 lbs. I was actually embarrassed that I couldn't carry her the entire way without stopping.
I finally got to the van, it's a Toyota Sienna and both doors were open. Jim ran in front of me, got the van out of the parking lot and had the car running and waiting with the doors open. I flopped Alice into the van and couldn't lift her on the seat.
She had half of her body in the vehicle and her legs were hanging out. I had a 3 litre jug of orange juice that I was trying to pour down her throat. Some was going in, lots was pouring down her shirt. At this point another young EMT showed up and insisted she's not good and they have called an ambulance and next thing I know it was there.
I realized I was losing the battle. I had the ambulance, I had two police cars and a fire truck surrounding the van. We weren't getting out. They then took her and put her in the ambulance and wouldn't let me go in with her. I was pissed and arguing. I just wanted to be by her side and make sure she was okay.
I told one of the younger cops, "look man, I could buy and sell you" in my attempt to let them know I wasn't a nobody that could be pushed around.
I was blocking the doors, they couldn't close them and then a mall cop was telling me that everything will be okay. Then his boss showed up, some smaller football looking black guy and when he couldn't reason with me any more, he leaned in and told me "to stop or he's going to take me down to the station and they are going to put a world of hurt on me".
At that point I realized the jig was up. Now I just wanted to make sure she didn't have to go to the hospital. I was starting to lose my buzz and I knew it wasn't necessary and I didn't even want to think about what the health care was going to cost.
I waited patiently and eventually one of the EMT or Cops came out of the ambulance and started asking me questions. He was asking how much she had drank and I said she wasn't drinking. He knew we were lying. He said the ambulance smells like booze. I said she had a rum and coke at lunch and that was it.
He started getting pissed off and asked how much I had to drink. I said nothing. He got mad and said are you prepared to take a Breathalyzer and without hesitation I looked him in the eye and said, no problem. He then tried a different softer tactic and said, "look you won't get in trouble, I know she's intoxicated, how much did she drink". I said, "she didn't have a thing".
He then started asking the neighbours and we all said, "we weren't drinking, I don't know what you're talking about". It turns out they had Alice and Joanne in the ambulance. Somehow Joanne got to sneak into the ambulance and was with Alice. I didn't know that.
Even in the ambulance, and Joanne was drunk, both her and Alice maintained their sobriety. You couldn't have planned it any better. No one cracked. We frustrated the shit out of everyone. The best part was the parking lot had emergency vehicles everywhere. Lights flashing and the visiting team bus could get leave. We held up the visiting team.
Eventually Alice came around and one of the student security cops pulled out her note pad and said she'd has some question for me. She was all of about 20 years old and I later found out that all the school security are students that are taking law enforcement courses. They are real keener's.
She was ready to take notes and I told here to "F#ck off". She then put her note pad away and slinked away. Then the main cop came up and congratulated me for not being disruptive anymore and with a sense of reward let me know I wouldn't be going back to the station.
I was actually so drunk that I almost wanted to go back to the station for the "Hurt-a-wheel". Nothing like a good punch in the face to make you feel alive.
Alice was out of the ambulance and as we were walking back to the van, I was staying "one part diabetic, two parts intoxicated". I was laughing because sometimes I think Alice is drunk and she blames it on diabetes. This time it was both.
When the EMT came out to let me know what was going on, I asked him if she was okay. He said, "yes, we won't have to take her to the hospital, give her 1200 calories of food AND she thinks the USA is far behind on diabetes technology. He said she was very animated telling them how their traditional needles are old school.
Afterwards Alice said the guy was really nice and at one point whispered in her ear that if she doesn't answer the doctors questions perfectly she's going to the hospital. I think he used the words, "you need to pull yourself together".
They had an endocrinologist on the phone and he asked her basic diabetic questions like, "is a 12 reading high". She passed the test. In hindsight, they were all pretty good about it and in a way I'm glad it all worked out as it did. I definitely didn't want to spend a night at a hospital.
They eventually released Alice and spoke to my neighbour to ensure he hadn't been drinking. He passed their test and next thing we know we were into the van and off to the Pig & Whistle. It was a two hour drive and we were all still pretty drunk by the time we got home.
I found out that one of the young cops called the ambulance and one of the older ones was a little disappointed. He was saying, they were so close to getting off the property and it would no longer be their responsibility.
One of the ambulance drivers was also a little pissed off because he had just finished barbecuing a big steak and was ready to eat when the call came in and he had to leave.
We stopped for something to eat at Wendy's and Alice's blood sugar was at 23. The problem was the medics flooded her body with sugar and it was going to the extremes. She was pissed off. I was just glad she was in the van and was hoping we'd get home without getting caught in a snow storm. It was just starting to come down and Buffalo is known for lake effect snow.
Then we started drinking out of the kegerator and drained it. Then finished all the beers I had in the fridge. Then entire time we laughed about the night. Even the entire ride home we were laughing about it and re-living it from each of our perspectives.
They had us all separated and tried to crack us. None of us budged. I can only imagine what sort of trouble we would have got in if they know we had been drinking. We would have most definitely been banned from future games. Not good when your daughter plays on the team.
As we were leaving, all of us were now friends. The guys I was pissed off at I was now shaking their hands and saying thank you. I probably shook about 6 peoples hands and it was like we were best friends.
I'm sure they were also talking about it and sure we were drinking but couldn't prove it. It was awesome. We couldn't have scripted our solidarity and the strength of it. If there is one thing I've learnt, NEVER let anyone with a uniform, for any reason, know you were drinking. Nothing good will come from it.
Jim loved it. He had the best night. He though it was great during the game. The after the game fireworks blew his mind. He couldn't wait to tell his friends and John wanted to write the night out so he wouldn't forget it. It was like being in the movie "The Hangover".
I sure hope we don't get a bill. They went through Alice's purse and got her I.D and name. Although for the rest of us, they have no idea who we are. I ended up getting to bed at 4:30 am and my knee was killing me. It is a semi-major injury. For sure I can't do weights, but I hope I can still run and ride.
I am glad the kegerator is empty. The plan was to go on a final bender this weekend and then start taking it easy and just train and eat better. All weekend it was bad food. Lots of Wendy's.
Thinking back I think one of the funniest things was when they were asking Dave if I was drinking and Dave was saying, "no, he's an Ironman, he doesn't drink, in fact he ran for 90 minutes today in this cold weather".
By the end of the night I was talking to Dave and Jim about doing a route 66 trip. I think for sure we'd end up in jail for a night.
Long Run - 1:33:54 / 16.81 km / 5:35 avg pace
18 beers
Lots of rum and whiskey.
