I was so looking forward to this day to come. For me, my beer run is my personal little super bowl. Especially this year, I definitely raised the bar. I got a new banner, a major league trophy cup and had some professional voice over work done for the opening ceremonies and it was now also going to be a costume race.
I was more prepared this year and more pumped than I can ever remember being. The best was also the turnout we were going to have, it was a record number of people at 17. It felt good waking up and not hurting like I did last year, even though I still went to bed at 4 am last night.
The moment I woke up the sun was shining and it was beautiful weather, it was warm and near no wind. I was so excited to get things set up, I really shouldn't have even been on the ladder putting up the sign, I was so giddy I'm surprised I didn't fall of.
The set up went really smooth, couldn't have went smoother. I know what needs to be done and Alice knows what needs to be done. It was a perfect set up and pre-race relaxed pace. Barb came over earlier to help out and with most everything done everyone was able to just hang out and chat and it was a great way to ease into the race.
As people started to show up, near everyone was wearing a costume. It wasn't mandatory and I wasn't sure how many people were going to get in the spirit of wearing a costume. I was really surprised to see that most everyone had some sort of a costume. There is definitely something about wearing a costume that brings out the craziness in people. I love it.
Some of the costumes were amazing. There was a prize for best costume as selected by the volunteers, I was glad I didn't have to make the call, it would have been a tough one. The costumes that really stood out to me was John Barclay as Osama Bin Laden with a shooting target on his chest, Matty O as a baby in full diapers and John and Fran Proc as Bunny Rabbits. I have no idea how that ran in those costumes, they are hot to begin with and it was also a hot day. All the other costumes were good as well, if anything I took the heat for having a lame costume. I guess next year I'm going to have to up the bar on the costume.
For this years opening ceremony I upped the bar. On fiverr.com I paid a radio guy to do an announcers voice and I paid another guy to do a voice over of Beavis and Butthead as our honorary chairperson for this years run, and I paid another guy to do a joke recording of the U.S. and Canadian National Anthems. I then stringed them all together as a playlist and burnt them to a CD and played the CD on the boom box. It was a major hit and soon to be a tradition, I'm going to have a new honorary house of payne beer run chairman every year.
I thought it was a great opening cermemony and by the look on every one's face they enjoyed it. Hearing Beavis and Butthead go over the rules and the gag national anthems went over well. It couldn't have gone better, it was perfect lead up to the race. The opening ceremonies with the announcer, the rules review by the honorary chairman and national athems took just over six minutes, anything less would be uncivilized for such a world class event. Looking at everyone faces, it was a hit.
The race was your typical House of Payne Beer run, it sounds a lot easier and more fun than it is. It's not easy drinking 6 beers and running 5 km's. This year I decided to pick 25 minutes as my time, it's a little slower than I normally run and figured it would give me some time to drink my beer a little slower and run a little slower if I wasn't feeling it. Turns out I had another consistent run, I finished in 24:14 and broke the 6 beers / 5 KM course record, it was previously held by Hernan Bancalari, he did a 24:49.
I was actually surprised that I ran so fast this year, it didn't feel that hard, I started feeling stronger as the day went on, my previous times were, 2008 - 25:10, 2009 - 25:25, 2010 - 25:44 and this year it was 24:14. I PB'd by near a minute and ran an average 7:48 per mile pace, not bad for 5 km and 6 beers. I don't get it the speed though. I'm a little heavier than any of the previous years runs.
The biggest surprise for me this year was Al Nolan, last year he was 250 lbs and ran a 41:11. This year he's 214 lbs and ran a 27:30. I couldn't believe how fast he was running, I couldn't shake him, he blew my mind. The other one's that blew my mind was John and Fran Proc running in bunny outfits, I cannot believe they didn't pass out. I put one of the bunny suits on for only 10 minutes and was walking in it and thought I was going to die. I'm glad they won best costume, they deserved it on so many levels.
I had an awesome time during the run, I love running by the guys and high fiving. I love the spirit of the House of Payne Beer Run and seeing everyone as they come in and congratulate them on their finish. It is the time that the noise level starts going up and the energy is amazing. Everyone is just chatting it up like they are long lost brothers. Tons and tons of laughter. It's been year four and every year is exactly the same, it has never wavered. To me it is the funnest part of the run, the commiserating afterwards.
This year I had things on a tight schedule. I knew Al, Justin and Hany had to leave by 3 pm and I wanted to make sure I got the food and awards done before then. The timing was perfect, I got it all done. I was excited to see who won, I was in the dark like everyone else. I let Alice and the kids determine the winner and Reid made the announcement. I was so wanting to win, I've always been in the top three every year and I really wanted to get my name on the Cup. My dream came true, I won, I was off by 46 seconds. I predicted 25 minutes and finished in 24:14. I don't think I've ever been more happy than when I heard my name announced as the winner. John Barclay came in second and Bob Lynch came in third.
Once the official House of Payne race was over, people fed and awards over, it was time to hang out and chill. It was a lot of fun, tons and tons of laughs. John Proc came up with a great idea. Our neighbours were having a pool party, it looked like it was for a boys sport team or church or something and he or me came, I can't remember, came up with the idea to jump the fence and hop over to the area where they are having their pool party and act like happy bunnies and then when they least expect it start having sex in the bunny outfits. And that's what we did. We got dress up, jumped the fence and hopped over and played in front of them, they were all laughing and then I went down on John's bunny suit like I was giving him a blow job. You could hear a pin drop at the pool party. They were laughing and then when I did that it came to radio silence. Across the field at my house all we could hear was laughter from everyone. We then hopped away.
The thing is that the guy who lives in the house who was hosting the pool party is a cop. Him and I have never formally met and we don't have the best of relationships. He sees me drinking beer, playing music and one night I think we woke him up as we were howling to the moon at 4 am. He opened his window and told us to shut up, which we did. That's basically been the extent of our relationship. He's also got a short fuse, I see it with his kids, it's not uncommon to hear him yelling at the kids, especially a couple years ago. I think he may have taken some anger management courses, he's a little more mellow right now.
Had John Barclay not seen the cop who lives behind me this week and told him that he was coming to my house for a beer run and we did the bunny thing in front of his house, I'm sure he would have jumped the fence and beat the shit out of us. In a way, it's too bad, I would have loved to have had video of two bunnies getting their asses kicked on YouTube. Needless to say I had Reid video record us do our bunny mayhem. Apparently while John and I was doing the bunny thing, Al was beating on Doru on the trampoline, then Matty O jumped in to help Doru and put Al in some hold that Al was pretty much not surrendering and wasn't going to tap, I'm told he looked like he was going to pass out rather than give up and just before he did Bob jumped in to his rescue. When we were hoping over to the property I saw the guys on the trampoline, I was surprised, I knew Matty O with an Ironman a couple weeks away did not want to do the trampoline again this year.
When I got back Al suggested I go over to the cops house with John and introduce myself and invite him over. John wasn't too keen on that one. Instead, after Al left and the party at the cops house was over, I walked over to his house with a big beer glass and cigar in hand and took a deep breath and knocked on his front door. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, beer makes you do stupid things.
The door opened and it was him, I can't remember what I said, the spirit of it was positive, along the lines of "hey I'm your neighbour, hope we didn't offend you and we've never met and you're welcome to come on over for some beer and cigars". He was very gracious and said he thought it was funny and it was no big deal and he had to go pick up his kids. I just remember somehow being in his house and hallway area, I don't know how I got there. I was also amazed how short the guy was, he looked much taller from across the back of the field. He seemed like a mouse type of a guy not a tough guy. He seemed like a nice guy and seemed a little uncomfortable. I said, no big deal, but don't hesitate to stop by for a beer and cigar, then left on my way. Whew, that couldn't have gone any better. It could have gone real bad. I'm glad I did do it, at least it smoothed everything over. I'm sure John will hear about it at work.
Al was supposed to leave at 3 pm. He ended up leaving around 4 pm. He was late for his own party, he was the host and chief barbecuer for his kids hockey team. When he left he looked gassed and they guys were telling me after that his watermelon head was skin burnt from the trampoline along with Doru's knee.
This year was relatively tame compared to last year. It was no better, no worse, just not as insane. The beer bong didn't make an appearance this year, when it does, it's all bad. We did have the Das Boot this year, that was a hit. Al was able to do a border run pick it up for me last night from Buffalo last night and brought it to the run. It was great having it at the end and running the victory lap with a 3 litre glass boot of beer. It's the exact same boot as from the movie Beerfest.
We had tons of food this year, I probably cooked about 15 to many hamburgers and hot dogs. We had tons of wings and they came out later at night. I think the wings were the only way to get John Barclay off the pinball machine. I'm not convinced John came to see if I needed help setting things up yesterday, I really believe it was an excuse for him to come over and play pinball. Heather was getting into the pinball as well. They looked like two teenagers.
I did not care how much food I ate or beer I drank, this was my last hurrah. Tomorrow is a new day. When Alice brought the wings out later in the evening I didn't stop eating them, they were awesome. As it got darker it got down to a core group, Matty, Heather, Bob, Me, Alice, John, Heather Barclay and my neighbours Jeff and Rebecca.
I can't remember much, I had a lot to drink. I just remember it is typical, lots of laughing. I did remember telling everyone I hired an Indian virtual assistant and to expect a phone call at 4 am from my assistant, I'm going to name him poochie, after my first dog. I think people think I'm joking.
Then it got down to Bob, Matty and myself hanging around the bar and having sometimes fun, sometimes stupid and sometimes serious conversation. The music that came to my ears was when I heard the Kegerator spew foam, we drained it. I may have lasted a little longer but Doru poured himself a glass earlier in the night and didn't turn it off. Alice came in the room and the beer was pouring out of the kegerator and on to the floor. When she came outside and said someone left the kegerator running I thought she was joking.
After the keg was drained we started drinking the Amstel and the Coors light cans. I was happy about that too, I wanted to get rid of all my beer to remove as much temptation as possible. Between Bob, Matty and myself we can pound down the beers. The funniest is when I saw that Bob was smoking a cigar with the cedar wrapper still on, he had no idea. It gave me good material to bug him with for the next 10 minutes. "Hey I'm Bob Lynch, do you have any aluminum cigar tubes you'd like me to smoke".
We then had some deeper conversations about life and death stuff. Eventually it led to me pretending we were in a foxhole. I had the guys sit beside me on the bar rail. Bob kept putting his head up and getting it shot at, then I dragged Matty and Bob across the basement floor. They were lying down, I grabbed Matty with my left hand and Bobby with my right hand and started dragging them. It was a battlefield simulation, showing that I could be a hero based on needing them to do the hard work at our Chickafila restaurant. Long story to explain the Chickafila deal. Lets just say if they died I'd have to do real work.
It was fun, definitely had it's ebbs and flows and covered all emotional grounds. At one point I told Bobby to punch me as hard as he could in my chest, I guess I wanted to show him a sales guy could be strong too. He did and it was one loud thud. I was impressed myself that I could take it. Tomorrow I'm sure I'll be paying the price for the dragging close to 400 lbs of guys along my basement floor and taking a major heart punch. Drinking too much beer can be hazardous to your health.
I'm actually looking forward to the next two months and trying to live life like a normal person. I've done it in the past, primarily those 7 years that I didn't drink in my 20's. I'm starting to think I need to be more careful, I'm often too trusting and put myself in situations that could potentially go side ways which could put myself in peril. I don't want to be on that TV show 48 hours about being killed.
My biggest problem is I'm way to trusting and naive with people. I assume all people are good and have similar belief systems to me. That's major flawed logic on my part, I'm starting to learn that and up until now it hasn't caused me any major harm, I just don't want my luck to run out. I need to be smarter and see things for what they are, not what I hope or want them to be. Bob was even telling me that because he didn't know Al or Al when we stayed at his house, he had an exit strategy with a cop neighbour on call to throw our asses out of there if we were trouble. My aunt did the same thing when she came to visit, she figured if it went bad, she had someone in the wings to get her out of my house and to stay with. All new concepts to me.
Bobby ended up going to bed and Alice, Matty and I stayed up until around 6 am talking. I couldn't believe it when I saw 6 am. The only thing that can get me to bed is morning.
Miha also took some great shots and posted them to
https://picasaweb.google.com/112107413356051043361/HouseOfPayne5KMBeerRun?authkey=Gv1sRgCJePoorP-J31gwE
along with some video at http://www.promptsoft.com/Promptsoft/ftp/HOPBeerRun/
Run- House of Payne Beer Run - 24:14
