Perhaps my greatest effort...

This morning the alarm went off at 5:30 am and I was fresh. I got to bed around 9:30 pm. It was a really good sleep, especially before a race.

Getting ready was standard fare, no issues. Into the shower, shave, get dressed, contacts in, warm weather clothes on, bagel ate, water bottles filled and mixed and this morning there was an additional duty in having to get my race number tattoo's on. I did check the weather and it was in the 40's. It was dark and cold. Not what I like, but this is long distance triathlon, we're tough and some say stupid.

As we were going down the elevator and English guy asked us if we knew the swim was cancelled. It threw me. I asked why. He was a bit pompous, and asked "have you ever heard of hypothermia?" I said yes, he then explained that it causes people to get sleepy and shiver and they can lose control and crash going down hills. I told him "I get it". Basically in the spirit of "don't be an a-hole and talk down to me".

I was more shell shocked than anything. This wasn't even in the realm of thought. My first thought was I put in 50 km of swimming in the last 7 weeks, damn I want to swim. Then I thought, I've been in races just as cold, even colder. Ironman St. George was colder water and in the high 30's or low 40's outside, that was two years ago and we still swam then biked. Hell, getting hypothermia is part of the epic Ironman race journey, or in this case long course experience. We're not pussies.

The main issue is it's the ITU and they run things differently than WTC Ironman races. ITU is more political as all the Countries are involved and they are very, very strict with the rules. All week I've been careful not to do anything that will get me disqualified. Even race morning, when I normally pee in the bushes rather than wait in line, I didn't do. I was afraid they'd have an ITU official in the bushes.

It turned out that the race was now going to be a bike and run with a time trial start, every bike going off in 5 second intervals. I must say it was cold this morning. I had my team Canada riding jacket on and I was still cold. I had flip flops on and my feet were starting to freeze up. The jacket was meant to be more of the parade outfit than a racing jacket. It turned out that most of the Canadian Team members that I saw decided to race with the jacket. Rather than go with my original plan of arm warmers and Paul's cycling vest, I decided to be safe and go with the jacket and my running gloves. It wasn't an easy decision. I waffled back and forth. Even right up to the start line I was waffling and had I seen Paul with the clothes bag I gave him with my arm warmers and the vest inside I might have changed into them. Me not seeing him until the the time I was ready to start was a positive omen that said, wear the jacket.

I was debating my plan for the last couple days, do I go with an all out strategy, balls to the walls like a half Ironman or do I go with more of a don't go over 143 bpm for the race and race it like an Ironman. It's a distance between a half and full Ironman. I have no experience racing that distance. I decided to go with the balls to the wall strategy, my ultimate plan was to finish totally exhausted, collapsible exhausted. Hell I'm racing for my Country God Dammit!!!

As I was standing near my bike with the other Canadians in my age group, the team manager who I met a few days ago walked up to me and started chatting. He mentioned that the long course athletes are so easy to take care of, very self sufficient. Turns out that the sprint and Olympic distance athletes need a lot more hand holding. He figured maybe because they have only a year or two experience. I told him that most of the guys here would have no problem swimming today. Hell guys dropping out for hypothermia are what long distance races are all about . It adds to the epic-ness. Oh, and short course triathletes aren't in the big leagues. They are still baby triathletes until they do at least one Ironman distance race.

One of the guys in my row, also the team doctor, mentioned that the last portion of the ride is straight into a headwind and up hill and suggested that we reserve energy for those winds and hills and to have something left for the run. The run is four 7.5 loops and all uphill in one direction and all downhill the other. I figured what does he know, it's only 120 km, I do 7 hour rides, I'm going for broke. Plus he said he's never done an Ironman, just half Ironmans. Heck I've done 9 Ironmans, how could I take his advice over my own? Famous last words.

We pulled up to the line, it was very official. Odd racing bib numbers on the right, even on the left. The countdown guy used his fingers on a clip board counting down and bang I was off. Out of the resort area to the highway is pretty much all up hill. The minute I started it was climbing. I expected to be catching people like most races and passing them. I didn't, it was tough. These guys are fairly good and going off in 5 second intervals kept the distances fairly lengthy. Immediately my heart rate was in the 155 - 160 bpm zone. For me on a half, that's the read line. Even getting it up over 162 on the bike at any time is hard. There was many a time I hit 162 bpm on the bike today. Considering even in training I can't get it over 162 bpm on all out speed work, that shows the level of my intensity.

I was so looking forward to getting off the hills of the resort area and onto the highway around Lake Mead. I knew it started downhill at the exit of the resort and the wind was going to be at our backs. It seemed like a long time before we got out of the resort area. I had a few guys pass me from the Great Britain Team, then the Germans. I wasn't too discouraged, I know every team has their uber cyclists, it's to be expected. I was a little discouraged in that I wasn't catching as many people as I usually do. In the beginning I was getting passed by more people than I was passing. I wasn't feeling weak either. If I was feeling weak that would make sense. I was as strong on the bike as I ever have been.

We finally got out of the hotel area and onto the highway into the Lake Mead park area. Going up the hills at the resort area I was starting to heat up and thinking that having a jacket on was the wrong call. After I got out onto the highway that train of thought all changed. I was getting cool with the jacket on. Even my hands were cold with the gloves on and my toes were definitely getting cold.

When we got to the highway I started to fly. We got to the highway under 30 kph average and got to the first turnaround 30 minutes later at 33.8 kph average. I also started to catch and pass some guys. Overall I'd say I caught and passed as many guys that caught and passed me. There was not many guys flying past me or me them. There was a few, one big German for sure.

It's funny, all day long I was passing 20 - 25 year olds. They started way before us, we were in the 400's and they were in the 100's. It just shows that the older guys are better than most of the younger guys. I think it's because long distance triathlons are as mental and physical and us older guys are prepared to push it harder. I also think younger guys muscles and bones aren't ready for long distance triathlons. I know many a coach tells there younger athletes not to look at doing Ironman's until they are in their late twenties or early thirties.

We turned around into the wind and it was not as fast, the next 30 minutes I got the average down to 31.8 kph. Then it was a wind up on our back to go up the other side of the lake. It's the toughest side of the climb for sure, I caught a lot of guys on the hills. Never did my heart rate go below 150 bpm and was up to 162 bpm many a time.

The other side of the lake is up most of the way until the turnaround and we had the wind at our back. Then it turns around and the wind was in our face and for the next 50 km we were getting a wind in our face to the finish. Not to mention the toughest inclines were coming in the last 30 km. The wind was bad enough that on some of the steep declines I had trouble getting the speed to 33 kph. When we got out of the highway part of the ride and onto the final 30 km of non vehicle path I was thinking I hope it's not to bad other than the first three major hills, which they call the three sisters. Technically it was a tough ride in that there was a couple of 90 degree angles and you couldn't always see where the trail was headed and you had to ride carefully.

By this last 30 km I could tell I was getting spent. I started going up the sisters and the first electrical jolt went through my body telling me I was in the red zone. It's not a bonk, but it's getting there. Throughout the ride the hills were bad enough that I had to go in the small ring, which I rarely do, and spin up the hills or even put it in the lowest gear and stand on my pedals to get up the hills. When I started standing on my pedals on that first sister hill I had the electric shock and energy drain from my chest, like ET, my heart light was draining. It didn't get easier, I had at least three more of those jolts before coming into T2.

With about 12 km left to the finish I saw another fellow Canadian at the side of the bike path. There was also another Canadian riding his bike in front of me. We both stopped to ask him if he was okay. We may be racing, but helping someone, regardless of the team is the spirit of Ironman. He flatted and didn't have a tubular. We both had one and literally had to convince the guy to take ours, he was reluctant, he didn't want to hold up our race. The other cyclist that stopped insisted and when he started taking out his spare I knew they didn't need me any longer and I took off. It was about a 30 second stop.

The next 12 km was tough, it seemed like a flat and it was inclining, it was a false flat. I was averaging about 22 kph on what looked like a flat and 16 kph on the gradual inclines. There was about 3 miles of down hill that was nice although it wasn't as fun or as fast as it could be with the wind in your face. With 12 km to go I was ready to get off the bike. I was spent. My heart rate was still high, I was giving it all I had.

Those last 12 km seemed like a lifetime. Earlier in the ride my arms were a little sore, and my rear end and seat bones were hurting. Those both were fine now,  but my energy was fading. I've never had that happen to me in an Ironman that I can remember. It may have happened in 1991 when I trained only 6 weeks before doing an Ironman and suffered for 14 hours and that doesn't count, I wasn't in shape. This was weird, I was in great shape and fading from going as hard as I could.

I finally got to the bike dismount line, a sight for sore eyes. They had two lines and I didn't know which one was the dismount line. Knowing this was the strict ITU I got off at the bike at the first line I saw. I erred for caution. I later found out that first line was the START of the dismount area. When I got off the bike I could hardly walk, let alone run. I've NEVER felt that slow off the bike before. I couldn't believe it. I'd never experienced it, I was scared winding if I could even run. Normally I'm fluid and fast off the bike.

I got to the tent and took longer than normal to get my cycling gear off and running gear on. I had my Ensure drink, my fourth of the day. I had three on the bike alone. Even more shocking that I was out of energy after taking in lots of calories all day.

I had trouble pulling my cycling jacket off over my big garmin watch, the wrists of the jacket were tight. Also, it's official, I decided to run with the Captains hat on. I checked with the team managers earlier in the week and they said you can run with whatever hat you like. Bingo. Captain's on. Hell the race seemed so grassroots and I didn't want any regrets. I have pictures of the captain finishing Clearwater, Kona and now ITU World Long Course. Wearing the Captain's hat is my trademark.

I was surprised to start running half decent out of the tent and thought maybe my legs are okay after all. I did a quick porta pottie stop and was off on the run course, it was four laps. It didn't take long for me to realize I wasn't going to have a 7:15 per mile pace. I started running around 7:45 pace, which is slow, I normally start Ironmans at 6:15 - 6:30  pace. Within a mile I was at an 8:00 minute pace and it kept slowing from there.

My legs were exhausted from mile one on the run. They weren't cramping, just exhausted. Now I had another 17 miles of running with tired legs. There was NOTHING in them, they were flat, dead flat. My times started getting slower and slower and by the first lap I was running around an 8:15 per mile pace. I knew this run was going to be all mental. As much as I wanted to walk, my legs weren't demanding it, it was just leg exhaustion and the mental strain of toughing it out for 18 miles.

I was really starting to break down mentally. I stopped myself right away. I told myself this is the World Championships. Suck it up!!! Do your Country proud. You may not finish as fast as you wanted but your goal was to give it every thing you had and finish with nothing left in the tank. Suck it up. No walking.

Everyone was passing me. I'm used to passing many more than pass me. Not today. After I started the run I remembered the curse of the captains hat. Everyone notices you and cheers you on. It means you can't walk and you have to wave and say hi and salute and give the hang loose sign as you run by. You can't even go into your mental shell and zone out. With a 4 loop course, out and back, you see the main crowd 8 times. That's 8 times that they are are going to be cheering you. There is no hiding whatsoever. Another reason you can't walk. I didn't want to be at the world champions and let my country down by walking and having it noticed by all watching. I'd hate to hear, hey did you see that guy from Canada with the Captain hat walking.

I got a lot of Captain cheers. There was also a lot of Canadians. With my name on the front of my tri-top and wearing the captains hat I got a few go Captain Payne shouts. I was also surprised to hear a go Bryan. I don't know who that was from. They must have been looking in the program. There was a LOT of GO CANADA's when I'd run by. Big groups, large flags, waving and they were there the entire time. Like clockwork I knew when I came around that specific corner I was going to her cheers and GO CANADA. I also heard a lot of LOVE THE HAT!!!  There was a lot of cheering the entire day. Go Captain, Go Canada, GO Payne, Go Canada!!!

The only time I walked was for a few brief seconds through an aid station to drink water or coke. I also loaded up on gels. I think I had more gels during this race than I've had in my life all put together. I didn't eat anything for the first hour, just water and felt myself fading. I knew I had to start eating or it would get ugly. My heart rate the entire time was in the 150's to 160's. I think the lowest was in the 140's down hill, maybe the odd 138 bpm for a brief period. I ended up averaging around a 9:15 pace over the 30 kms. My immediate goal during the race was to just keep running, the uphills were killer. My secondary goal was to try and finish under 3 hour and not hit the 10 minute mile average pace.

Mentally I found 4 loops hard. It's also all elite age group athletes your racing with and everyone is giving it there all. Very few walking or not for long. I just sucked it up. As I was finishing the last lap I was determined to keep it going. I started to think about the race and figured I'll remember this race as my biggest accomplishment. It was my hardest effort, I gave it my all and in the eye of wanting to stop and walk I never did, I kept pushing forward. I was also wondering if there was a way that I could cut the course and still hit the timing mats? I wasn't serious, but that's how much it hurt. I was thinking of ways to avoid the inevitable pain and suffering.

On the last loop I started playing mental games, I know what 6 km looks like at home on my training runs. I can do it. It's not that hard. Hey fat women that take up running for the first time slog out 5 km, if they can do it I can do it. It was games like this I was playing in my mind. It was also games like, you wanted to give it your all and you are doing it, you're succeeding. The finish time may suck and you're better than your finishing time, but your effort today is probably the best effort you've ever done. The next closest may have been Louisville, my first comeback triathlon in 93 F heat. The run was super hard and I didn't stop. The only difference from Louisville to today was I was totally spent at the end of today and the course was shorter.

I managed to make it through the crowd for the last time and on the last down hill I tried to run faster. If I was running faster, it wasn't noticeable. I went down the finishing chute and I didn't even realize the finish was so close. It was fairly empty. I saw Paul, he yelled out. I stopped about 20 metes from the end of the chute, ran back and gave him a high five and then went on my way to the finish. I started to high five people for the last 10 meters and I would have started sooner if I knew it was the finish line chute and I wasn't so mentally spent and focusing on just wanting to cross that finish line. There was no one at the finish to catch you. Just the timing sign above. I actually wondered if I had crossed the finish or not at the time, no one seemed to be there. It turns out I did finish.

Next thing I know they took off the timing chip and I was in the food tent. Awesome spread, lots of hot pasta, garlic bread and gourmet chicken breast. Not your standard piece of Pizza you get at Ironman events. I wasn't hungry. I almost didn't eat at all. The only reason I ate was I knew it was an anti-bonking move. No chicken though. I riffled the food down, found a New Zealand flag at my table, took it and hustled out. Turns out they don't give finishers medals. That was a bummer. Oh well. I still finished and I did it my way. I gave it every thing I had. I could hang my head high.

Paul was waiting for me outside of the gate. I came out and it was off to pick up my bags and my bike and get back to the hotel. All I wanted was a hot shower and to lie on my bed and relax. I was so glad this race was over and I was very, very proud of myself. I kept telling Paul that this was perhaps my best race ever, not from a finishing time standpoint, but from an effort and giving it everything I had standpoint. I did the best I could on this day, I had nothing better in me.

Why so slow. Who knows. Who cares. It could have been partly from the concussion I got a few weeks ago. Or the low Sodium problems from two weeks ago. Or not tapering enough and doing 400 km of training and racing since last Friday while spending time in Vegas. Or going out too hard on the bike and blowing up. Who knows. My plan was to give it my all and I did.

I've said it many a time, you can't predict how well a race is going to go until you get into it. There are times you feel great going in and you have a terrible race, and there is times you feel lousy going in and set a personal best. Ironman and long distance races are like that, they are unpredictable, even for the pros.

Again, my goal way to give everything I had, and I did that. My goal was to do my country proud and I believe I did that. I fought the race day I want to quit demons and I beat them. I didn't let them slow me down, I didn't let them make me stop. I didn't get discouraged. I persevered and gave it the best I had in me today. I finished with absolutely no regrets. Who can ask for anything more.

We got back to the hotel. I had my shower. Paul went for a run and I called Alice and filled her in on how the race went. I'm now officially missing the family. It's time to come home. It's been about 9 or 10 days that I've been in Vegas. I also know that I have no desire to come and race this course again, it's damn hard. Not suited for me. With 7000 feet of climbing over 120 km on the bike and 2000 feet of climbing over 30 km on the run, and in the cold and wind, it's no fun. Although it was memorable. Even without the swim it had some epic-ness in it.

Tonight hey had the awards banquet. The food was awesome. It kicks any Ironman's ass on the food scale. First class and well worth the $30. We sat at a table with a bunch of Kiwi's, very down to earth and fun. One of the guys finished twelfth in my age group. He was 45 minutes faster than me. I ended up looking at the results and noticed a couple things. Most of the top 10 had bike rides in the 19 miles a hour mark. I was 18. Only one guy hit 20 mph. That just showed me this was one damn hard bike ride.

I also realized that on a better day with my past times and if I was able to bike and run as fast, I would have finished in the top 10. I think I could have shed at least 45 minutes to 1 hour off my time. It turns out I'm now officially ranked 52nd in the world and 6th in Canada. Not bad for a not so good day speed wise.    If they had a suck it up and finish with nothing in the tank day I definitely would have been in the top 10.

We watched the first part of the awards, very grass roots style. Reminded me of Ironman's 23 years ago. I had a $50 gift certificate to spend from the hotel and we headed down to the bar. I had 3 Amstel while relaxing after the race in the room, a couple of Heineken's at the event and then another 3 or 4 Amstels at the bar after the award banquet.

We left the awards show early and headed for the hotel lounge. Within 45 minutes it was full of triathletes. We even seen the guy who told us about the swim being cancelled. The funniest was him looking like he was going to get it on with a young girl about 30 his junior. He had his wedding ring on, it was obvious he was married, and she seemed to be into him, they were lightly touching each other. I pulled out my camera too late and started video taping them. It was too late, I missed the action. If I did get it I would have put it on my You Tube channel for sure. He was a pompous jerk and I would have loved to see his wife see it and have him squirm.

By 10 pm, Paul was ready to hit the room and I was 2 beers away from nose up and partying like a madman. Had I went for 2 more beers I wouldn't have got back until the wee hours of the morning. Instead I did the responsible thing and finished my beer and joined him. If I didn't t was going to pay the price, my flight is at 9:25 am tomorrow morning and I didn't want to hurt during my travel home. I will say it felt good to leave early and stay out of any trouble and get to bed sober.

When we got back to the room I wanted to show Paul how fast I could pack my bike with my case. It took just over 8 minutes from start to finish. I wasn't even rushing. Then I showed off and in another 8 minutes put in some other stuff and closed it up. Sixteen minutes total, not bad. The last time I think I did that was Ironman China and I was still drunk and I had to do it right away in order to make our flight. I think I only had about an hour's sleep after the post race party before I had to pack up and leave. I think John Barclay was amazed I could even do it. I know I was. I still can't believe it. I was in no condition to function. All I wanted to do was miss my flight and stay in China an extra day and sleep the effects of the beer away.

I'm now packed and ready to go. I had Paul sign the back of my racing bib to commemorate the event, kind of like the signing of a yearbook.

Paul took pictures of the race today and I downloaded them. The finishers shot and many shots on the run capture how I felt. Especially the last one when I came down the finishers chute. I was in the hurt locker and forever when I look at that picture I'll remember what I felt like and I'll be proud of what I over came in my mind and proud that I did my absolute best today. I couldn't have done better. Mission Accomplished.


Race Bike - 4:07:12 / 18.1 kph avg
T2 - 4:05
Race Run - 2:52:44 / 9:18 per mile pace
52 / 70 age group
6 / 10 Canada