It all started on St. Paddy's day. Alice and I stayed at the Hilton in downtown Toronto and bar hopped. It was the first time we have ever celebrated St. Patrick's day. I got a good deal off priceline fort $85 per night and decided to go for it. It wasn't an easy decision, I still had my business plan proposal to do for AG and I knew this would set me back. I wanted to have it prepared for when Wayne came back. I decided to go for the fun instead.
It started with our first Irish pub. We had drinks, they gave us a green shirt, a temporary tattoo and green lei. For me, it was a drink feast. Alice said after a few drinks she took it easy. Good thing.
We bar hopped to a couple of other places afterwards, may have been two, three or four places total. I can't remember, I had too much to drink. I do remember that I took a couple of really nice beer glasses from one place that Alice said was a Karaoke bar.
All was going well until we stopped to get a burrito and I got in a near fight. All this is a complete blur to me, I have no recollection. Never fails, I get super drunk and I want to fight, I think it has something to do with me wanting to get into a real fight and get punched. In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to do.
When I woke up in the morning, my right hand was sore, I couldn't move it. It was beyond painful, it felt broken. I had no recollection how it happened. Apparently I stumbled and fell backwards into the street, between two cars and out into the open road. Alice said that if there was cars coming down that road, I would have been dead. She said she was surprised my butt didn't hurt, I bounced on it so hard and then fell back on my twisted arm.
I didn't wake up hungover, just numb, on the way home we stopped at the Tin Cup around the corner from our house and had lunch and I ordered a beer. Before we got to the restaurant we stopped at Shoppers to get a tensor bandage and wrist brace. When we got to the restaurant, that beer helped with the pain, it also got me drunk again.
After a few beers we stopped at Jamie and Barbs, they just got back from their winter home in Florida. It was more beers at there place and as we spoke, Alice filled us in on what happened with the night. On the fight side, I was in line getting my burrito, friendly with this kid and the next thing we were fighting. Alice was arguing with the Burrito lady to get my burrito so we could get out of there. She was a black lady and mad at me.
We got outside and me and the kid where graping jackets and he was among 10 young kids in their early 20's. About 3 of them and me were yelling back and forth. Alice was telling them not to fight, I was drunk, you can't beat up a drunk. Another guy, 41 years old named Chad and who was a hippie type guy was trying to become the peace keeper and get the kids off me. The group of kids wanted to see a fight. I can't remember a thing.
As Alice and Chad would talk everything down, I'd say something and all there hard work negotiations would go to waste. Somehow it ended without punches and afterwards I fell. Alice said she got in the middle of us as we were grabbing each other and told the guy that if he wants to punch someone, punch her. She said him punching an older drunk guy is like punching a girl. I think that's what let it all dissipate.
To get home Alice had to hail a cab. We were probably only 4 or 5 blocks from our hotel but I was in no condition to point us in the right direction. Alice said I couldn't even get in and out of the cab easily because my wrist was so sore.
As we hung around Barb and Jamie's we all decided to go out for dinner at the Symposium restaurant. Afterwards I think we went back to our house to hang around the bar, but I'm not sure. The delay in writing this blog and the beer influence was too much.
The next day I couldn't train, my wrist hurt too much. As Alice slept I went to the walk in clinic and had it x-rayed, it wasn't broken. Thank goodness. It was just badly sprained or bruised inside. It was so painful and I could barely move my fingers.
At noon I went to the movie Battlefield LA with Jamie and started drinking again. It was the VIP area with full bar service. When I got home I kept drinking and for dinner Alice, Alyssa and I went to Gator Ted's and I still kept drinking. We watched a little of the UFC pay per view when we were there. When I got home I fell asleep.
The next day was no better with respect to drinking. The hand did get better enough for me to go for a run and I had an awesome run, a 4:50 pace and my calf was fine. Afterwards, I ordered UFC and invited Jamie and Barb over to watch and the beer started flowing again.
At dinner time we ordered $115 worth of food from Wild Wings, it was way to much and all over the place.
I kept drinking after they left, but was drinking sober. This was the first night since the hypnosism that I didn't eat healthy. At least I didn't eat any fries. I still haven't eaten fries since the hypnosism.
Since Thursday I've done no work and hadn't listened to my hypnosism tapes. Sunday night I tried to catch up by listening to two of them before bed and one when I woke up this morning. I feel my mojo is less, I'm not sure if it's from not listening to the tapes or just the over boozing. I've lost all momentum with work and training. In the past week and a half, my training mileage is way down.
I do have an excuse, sore calf and hand. Today I came home early, my intent was to do a 6 hour plus ride, it was 8 C out. I got out on the road and it was cooler and windy, it wasn't pleasant. My wrist was okay, barely. The entire time it was noticeable and if I went over a bump it hurt. I was riding so slow, I've lost all my riding strength and speed.
I woke up naturally today and didn't train in the morning. I was suppossed to swim, but it would be impossible without swimming with a fist. I may have to do that this week and combine it with a lot of kicking. I'm just glad I can type again. This injury may last a three to four weeks. It was the most sevear you could get without breaking it. It was so painful on Friday and Saturday and still, albeit less, painful on Sunday and Today.
I still got to work by 9:30 am and tried to work. I didn't feel it. I did try. The first thing I did was write out some goals. The tape I listened to today told me that's what I need to do. So I did it. I'm sure I felt so bad was because all the drinking and not training. Alice said I was looking depressed. The alcohol is a really bad demotivator.
As I think back on the weekend, I'm not happy with my fighting behaviour. That's got to stop. I'm not a kid and it shows that I have some issues. Why do I feel compelled to want to fight someone younger. It's not becoming at my age or necessary.
As Alice and Chad would talk everything down, I'd say something and all there hard work negotiations would go to waste. Somehow it ended without punches and afterwards I fell. Alice said she got in the middle of us as we were grabbing each other and told the guy that if he wants to punch someone, punch her. She said him punching an older drunk guy is like punching a girl. I think that's what let it all dissipate.
To get home Alice had to hail a cab. We were probably only 4 or 5 blocks from our hotel but I was in no condition to point us in the right direction. Alice said I couldn't even get in and out of the cab easily because my wrist was so sore.
As we hung around Barb and Jamie's we all decided to go out for dinner at the Symposium restaurant. Afterwards I think we went back to our house to hang around the bar, but I'm not sure. The delay in writing this blog and the beer influence was too much.
The next day I couldn't train, my wrist hurt too much. As Alice slept I went to the walk in clinic and had it x-rayed, it wasn't broken. Thank goodness. It was just badly sprained or bruised inside. It was so painful and I could barely move my fingers.
At noon I went to the movie Battlefield LA with Jamie and started drinking again. It was the VIP area with full bar service. When I got home I kept drinking and for dinner Alice, Alyssa and I went to Gator Ted's and I still kept drinking. We watched a little of the UFC pay per view when we were there. When I got home I fell asleep.
The next day was no better with respect to drinking. The hand did get better enough for me to go for a run and I had an awesome run, a 4:50 pace and my calf was fine. Afterwards, I ordered UFC and invited Jamie and Barb over to watch and the beer started flowing again.
At dinner time we ordered $115 worth of food from Wild Wings, it was way to much and all over the place.
I kept drinking after they left, but was drinking sober. This was the first night since the hypnosism that I didn't eat healthy. At least I didn't eat any fries. I still haven't eaten fries since the hypnosism.
Since Thursday I've done no work and hadn't listened to my hypnosism tapes. Sunday night I tried to catch up by listening to two of them before bed and one when I woke up this morning. I feel my mojo is less, I'm not sure if it's from not listening to the tapes or just the over boozing. I've lost all momentum with work and training. In the past week and a half, my training mileage is way down.
I do have an excuse, sore calf and hand. Today I came home early, my intent was to do a 6 hour plus ride, it was 8 C out. I got out on the road and it was cooler and windy, it wasn't pleasant. My wrist was okay, barely. The entire time it was noticeable and if I went over a bump it hurt. I was riding so slow, I've lost all my riding strength and speed.
I woke up naturally today and didn't train in the morning. I was suppossed to swim, but it would be impossible without swimming with a fist. I may have to do that this week and combine it with a lot of kicking. I'm just glad I can type again. This injury may last a three to four weeks. It was the most sevear you could get without breaking it. It was so painful on Friday and Saturday and still, albeit less, painful on Sunday and Today.
I still got to work by 9:30 am and tried to work. I didn't feel it. I did try. The first thing I did was write out some goals. The tape I listened to today told me that's what I need to do. So I did it. I'm sure I felt so bad was because all the drinking and not training. Alice said I was looking depressed. The alcohol is a really bad demotivator.
As I think back on the weekend, I'm not happy with my fighting behaviour. That's got to stop. I'm not a kid and it shows that I have some issues. Why do I feel compelled to want to fight someone younger. It's not becoming at my age or necessary.
I think the Hypnosis is having some effect. I don't feel as motivated to prove myself or validate myself to others. Barb was telling me she missed my blog, it was her morning read and laugh. She's now following me on twitter. In the past I may have felt bad and that I should get it back going, I didn't. It wasn't like I need to share my personal life with anyone. I even find I'm not as compelled to wear my Ironman clothing all the time, I've actually been thinking of wearing non-Ironman clothing to work.
Instead I told her that now I can tell stories and she hasn't heard them before, they'll be fresh. I have noticed my training volume is down since the hypnosis and I'm going to rank that as a conisnedence and that it's do to the injuries. With that said, I do dread indoor bike ride training.
As we sat at the bar last night Jamie was goading me into doing Ironman New Zealand with him next March 3rd. He even said he'd guarantee to pay my entry fee if I didn't decide to go. It was $749. Alice didn't look thrilled, but I agreed. When we went to register it was already sold out. Whew!!! I really don't want to train indoors over the winter. Jamie was disappointed, he loves doing IMNZ and needs to have a goal to train to over the winter while he's away in Florida.
In the past couple of months he's been training hard and says he's lost 20 lbs, it looks like it. I noticed he's doing 2-3 hours of training a day. For me, I realize I only have about 6 weeks until IMSG and 1 week is taper so it's only 4 weeks of training. I need to have a solid 4 long rides and runs before the race. Although it would be nice to qualify for Kona in ST. GEORGE, I don't think it would happen without a miracle. My body or mind is not what it was. I don't have the speed or strength or desire to push hard through a workout, except swimming right now.
Today I realized that there may be a way to get into NZ through Ken Glah travel. I checked and spots are available. Jamie and I are now going back and forth with emails and it looks like we may be signing up for it. It kind of got me a little excited to do that.
I missed the blogging, I feel better when I write down my thoughts. I felt like I was getting behind and slipping in my motivation. I was going to work on my AG marketing plan tonight and decided not to. I looked at NZ stuff, caught up on my blog and slept. I had another mid afternoon snooze after my ride.
Even though I've done some things that are self sababoting in nature, I don't feel guilty and will get back on track. I've got to keep working the tapes and work on visualizing what I want my authentic life to look like. I'm definitely moving more private. Today I locked my twitter account so not anyone could look at it.
I feel like I'm on the verge of becoming the person I've always wanted to be. Drop the old baggage and stuff that doesn't matter and move on, living in the now and only taking away the lessons from my past. Although the issues with my parents still bother me, I'm able to drop them quickly and move on as if they don't exist. The problems are their issues, not mine and I feel so much freer without their negative influence. I wouldn't want to go back to the way it was, there is no benefit. I want to move on and be the person I can be with my own influence.
I'm hoping tonight is clean up, mentally and physically and get back on track time. Tomorrow will be a new day and I'll get feeling back on track. At least today I did a ride, I did some work, I booked a trip to New York for a book conference and didn't eat poorly.
One of the pictures I posted was one of a street beggar we stopped and gave her money, I'm told, and I got a picture with her.
Sunday - 54:00 / 11.14 km / 4:50 pace
Monday - 1:24:00 / 34.97 / 25.0 avg km
1 comment:
HOLY CRAP! Now that was a whirlwind my friend. You were ALL over with this one.
Only you could bring it all back down calmly after having almost a week of insane binging haha.
Glad to hear things are settling down again for you. Have to catch up on posts now ;)
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